IS THIS NORMAL?

Ermm...how do I start this eh.. Lately i have this feelings yg xbrape best.. i mean, mixed feelings of macam2 lah.. tetibe mcm terover-emo pun ade, but since i nie jenis pendam so i makan hati je la..or nangis sorang2 before tido..huhu..  kadang2 mcm terpikir gak, adakah ini normal after u get married? i do hope yg da kawen tu bleh tlg i.. and yg blum kawen tu, maybe u all can make this post as ur reference for life after married…

 

OF BABIES

 supercute babiessss... ;)

Oppsss jgn salahsangka yer, I blum preggy lagi..korang niee, ishh.. 

My story nie a bit different dgn b2b yg lain, mostly share pasal dah preggy or share about being pressured by others..  Hurmm walaupun for me it’s too early to talk about babies sbb baru je 2months plus kawen (da nak masuk 3bulan pon-still feeling2 pengantin baru haha ;p )  BUT, i xtau l whhhyyyy  laaaaa im pressuring myself to have a baby.. I dah tried my best to relax n chill, but bila feeling2 sakit or b4 dtg period,  i akan trus beli pregnancy test n hoping I am pregnant..  tapi bila tgk result -ve, i akan kecewa giler..

My hubby ckp xpe jgn pressure or letak harapan..tapi tu lah, kite luaran je ckp " eh xde letak harapan pun", tapi dalam hati? Mmg sumer org ckp relax dulu, honeymoon dulu, kumpul duit dulu.. but for me i rasa mcm xleh nak relax and xleh nak tunggu kot, cos i ni da la kawen lambat (late 20s).. And now im already 29.. yep 29 OK?! Worst part, i only have 1ovary-first time kena ovarian cyst at age 24. It was really bad so they have to remove my left ovary.... sedey x.. T_T papepun i terima and redha dgn ketentuan Allah.. Alhamdulillah I ada satu lagi ovary yg masih berfungsi, tapi problem gak sbb last year detect ada cyst gak tp kecik2 je la… my gynea (doctor pakar perempuan) ckp my ovary n telur ‘sleeping’ T_T  So I terpaksa makan ubat and hormone pills untuk stabilize my hormone sepanjang tahun okeh… tu yg xkurus2 tu..hmmph! 

I rasa dgn keadaan camnie, chances i berbanding ngan u alls sgt2222 lah low..  untuk dptkan baby I ada brape percent jer to conceive.. tu yg risau tu...Kdg2 i betul2 mengharap dpt baby cepat, kot2 lepas ni dah xleh dah? how....? Betul lah i ni mcm meng-pressure kan diri sendri je kan..? hahaa.. Family n org lain xde la plak desak2.. ;p hubby pun xde la desak, but mmg la teringin kan.... so camne nak kawal emosi nih? Huhuhuhuuuuu T_T

Is this normal?

P/S : Please check with your specialist/gynea whether you have ovarian cyst onot…. Kadang2 the symptoms mmg mcm xde pape.. And based on the internet and doctors, ovarian cyst ni adalah normal dikalangan remaja and young adults..Even time pregnant pun bleh dpt.. So note from me, sila check ya sebelum terlambat….. T_T

OF ALL THE SMALL THINGS

 kkrreow?

Okay this part..bukan nak buka aib, but i seriously wanna know if this is normal? Alhamdulillah lepas kawen, hidup sgt2 bahagia with org yg tersayang..  I think readers and those yg follow my blog nie, bleh nampak I punyer ke-excited-an nak kawen tu kan..hehe.. So bila da super excited,xsabar n gatai untuk kawen, sumer bende kite expect to be perfect. That’s my problem kot, expecting all to be perfect, bunga2, cintan-cintun golek2 ditaman lepas kawen. Note to all, we have to face the facts that not everything is perfect.. mesti adalah problems and mesti ada argument2 kecil in marriage life. Mmg org tua2 sumer dah pesan lepas kawen life akan lain, xmcm time couple sumernyerrr indah2 berbunga2.. Inilah namanye phase mengenali, where u live with dat person, eat with that person, etc,etc…sumer togeder2 sampaikan sumtimes small things yg dia buat u akan mcm eeeee..  xpasal2 my pet peeve is triggered n rase gerams..  Rasa mcm kelakar je bila pikir balik..hehe tapi nak wat camner kan? Mmg in marriage kena ada byk kompromi n byk22 sabar.. I think im ok with it, but my emotion je x (sumtimes).. whyyyyyy.. T_T 

Is this normal?

P/S: Sila dengar ye ckp org2 tua.. Mmg betul life after married is different.. Yes mmg bahagia, tapi ‘phase mengenali each other’ tu yg kena byk222 sabar…

OF FEELINGS

 saje letak pic ni sbb classic..! :D

Okay yg ni agak psycho… Lately nie sumtimes i feeling2 sorang2 before tido..serious sheep… I xtau nape.. ye la maybe ada la reason nye tu.. tapi bila duk sorang2, before tido tu,I akan ter-keluar air mata terkenangkan prob2 diatas tu..huhuuu..  pastu I akan marah pada diri sendri of not being a good wife..  I guess this is from my childhood n self esteem dari dulu cos I always think im not good enough or smart enough for anything..  And blaming myself for everything.. And not only that, i sumtimes teringatkan wedding preps n byk terpikir balik nape x buat ni?naper xbuat tu?naper last minute? naper adik xbuat tu?naper abg xbagi buat tu?blablabla n it continues on... T_T 

And sumtimes after kawen nie I rasa ala2 blues and sumtimes depressed…  But I don’t want to send a wrong message, Im happy to be married to my hubby..And I truly love n shayang my meowgagah…. but tu la nape la I ada feeling2 camni..? I seriously dun know how to handle this… T_T

Is this normal?

P/S: If anyone bleh share tips please do…for this one I mmg xtau nak buat apa.. T_T nak kena buat wedding lagi kot? Hehe ;p

   

meowluv~